on being ok…

…speaking of doing

I have been finding it difficult

to start working again after the holiday break

I’ve hit the point where the rubber must hit the road

where you stop imagining what you might do

and get on with the business of doing it

*

my cupboard is a little bare

whilst others around me seem to have

of personal cornucopia of inspiration

little drawers stuffed to the brim

ideas dropping from pockets…

“I’m just having so much fun in the studio”

“working on 10 paintings”

“I’m banging the work out”

*

greedy fuckers…

*

I’ll let you in on a little secret

I have no idea what I am doing

I just show up, and I wait

I busy myself

stare at things for hours

until what I need to do

reveals itself

if it doesn’t I am grumpy as hell

and I am just as surprised as anyone else

when something good my way comes

in the mean time….

chopping wood – carrying water

*

we like to pretend that it is all

inspiration, inebriation and intuition

it’s a myth we all agree to

but it seems to be more about living it

to the point where I don’t see it

as something I have to do

just show up and be ok

when all you can do is clean your brushes

or read a great book

follow a lead down a rabbit hole, watch bad TV

or troll pinterest to remind myself

of what it is that I like

not expecting

that what I like

will actually appear in my work

being ok with that.

*

when there is no separation

between the Artist and my Self

I forget what I cannot do

and I am curious

and that is always a good sign

*

“I am not what I am

I am what I do with my hands”

Louise Bourgeois 

IMG_1499.jpg

detail  – the zen garden (of good and evil)

3 thoughts on “on being ok…

  1. I am in that place too! And what a lot of chirpy, positive comments all over the place and I am left wondering whats going wrong in my space as it’s not like that for me. Loved reading your view as that’s put words exactly where I need them – thank you!!

    Like

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